A Page from my Journal

I find it really interestesting to go back and read my old journals.  It really helps me to see where I was and what I have improved upon and where I still need to do some work.  Here is my entry from:
December 14, 2016

I have attachment issues? Yes that is a question. I might. I am on a journey. I want to stop focusing so much on happiness and move toward being fulfilled. Happiness is fleeting. It comes and goes. It isn’t something that stays 24 hours a day. Fulfillment though, that can happen.

I say yes a lot when I really mean no. I think this comes from being raised in a home with drinkers. When you are a child and you are also the fixer you become an adult people pleaser. At least I did. What if I started asking myself these two questions. Am I able to? Do I want to? It is ok for me to say no. I am learning.

I have to hold myself accountable for my own fulfillment and focus on what I want and need. I want to be one of those people that doesn’t speak badly to themselves. Talk to yourself like you would a child, they say. It sounds so easy. It is not, trust me. I will work on this.

My house is an absolute cluttered disaster . It’s messy and I can’t seem to keep it clean. Yes I have two kids still at home but they are older and it shouldn’t be like this. I want my home to be a haven for me. A place I want to be because it is so beautiful and relaxing. That sounds so amazing. I am working on this too.

So…that was Dec 14.  Less then a year ago. A couple of things since this that have happened.

I am no longer talking badly or negatively to myself.  I mean it happens unconsciously but I am so much more aware of this.

My cluttered house got a big make over this summer.  I got rid of so many things.  There is still a long way to go but I did make some really good progress!
Happy Tuesday!!

Advertisements

April 3

Random thoughts:

Hold yourself accountable for your life

Be focused on what you WANT not what you  don’t 

Learn to speak to your self with love

Learn how to properly relax

Work on making your home your haven